Maybe I should start a blog. Oh, wait, I have one!!

I have taken one heck of a blogging 'vacation'.  My last post was June 15.  I can't believe that it has been that long.  Wow.  Things haven't been boring in the least over here, with moving (which could be a whole blog post by itself!) and getting settled into the new house, state, schools, etc.

Normally, I would try to get you up to date chronologically.  I'm not even going to try that now.  So, you will have to contend with my quick updates on the family.

Choo's update

Choo is very happy we moved.  He is back with the teachers he loves and an area of the country that soothes him.  He had a bit of a time adjusting to the move.  He recognized the area, but was a bit perplexed that we weren't going back to the apartment.  And, now the whole family was here.  I'm sure he was thinking, 'What's up?", but, of course, couldn't verbalize it.  So he started banging his head.  Against the walls.  Until he made holes.  So, now my brand new house has holes in the walls.  Lovely.

He is refusing to take his supplements now that he is 'into' drinking water.  I'm at my wits' end trying to figure out how to sneak them to him.  A couple are fat soluble, not water soluble, so they clump up in his beverages.  Grrr.  Still tryng to get a handle on that.

Dude's update

Bear and Dude were my two holdouts.  neither really wanted to move.  You would think the autistic child would be the one who fought the change, but, no, it was these two.  I am very happy to report that Dude LOVES his school.  He enjoys not having to wear a uniform and thinks everything about the school is great.  

That is a relief.  And, if that wasn't good enough, our next door neighbor has a girl the same age as Dude.  She is a bit of a tomboy, so they play basketball and Xbox together.  I'm just glad that he has someone in our neighborhood (which now boasts 6 inhabited houses!) to hang out with.  He was really into the bus at the beginning of the school year, but now he rides with the next door neighbors.

He is going to be trying out for his school's basketball team and is also playing basketball in the county's youth basketball league.  His grades have all been stellar, as well.

Bear's update

I'm pretty sure that the man has an unnatural fixation for Publix grocery stores.  He is taking it all in stride and likes seeing the kids happy.  Choo has trained him to take walks around the neighborhood nightly.  Unfortunately, Choo thinks that an open garage door is an invitation to enter.  They have met most of the neighbors this way! :)

We have the nicest neighbors who all seem to have a soft spot for Choo.

My update

What can I say.  I'm still trying to unpack, finish repairing/ painting/ cleaning/ staging the old house to sell.  (which is one heck of a chore being 500 miles away!!)  I'm also trying to unpack, get a new driver's license, register the cars, hang pictures, add homey touches, etc. to the new house.  And breathing.  I sometimes forget that one.  

I'm trying to break things down into more manageable tasks, but that is not working really well for me.  My clothes need to be put in the dryer, so I gotta go!  

Any suggestions for future blogs?  I'm all ears- just let me know.

First the finger, now this?

The little Choo-man is really cracking me up.  Why does he display hidden abilities in his pursuit of things that are taboo?  Case in point:  We disconnected our television service because little man needs to do without for a while.  We found it much easier to let him watch a show on a laptop, then we could take the laptop away.  Well, just last week, I noticed that he no longer needed our help.  I watched him navigate Bear's Windows computer.  Choo opened up Internet Explorer, opened a new tab, selected YouTube from the choices, scrolled to Kung Fu Panda and watched it.  What made this extraordinary was the fact that my right handed child was using his LEFT hand on the track pad because he was holding his juice with his right.  His hand was steady and his movements direct.  WOW!!

And then, earlier this week, he pulled a neurotypical child stunt.  I told him it was not time for him to have the computer yet, he had to wait.  He looked at me and started crying- tears and all.  I consoled him, but also reiterated that he still was not getting the computer.  He stopped crying and got mad.  Wait- you were using EMOTIONS to play me?  Gee, you must have some basic understanding of such things.  Crocodile tears- who would have thought?

I just love it when the weather is beautiful outside. I love watching Dude and Choo jump into the pool and interact so lovingly.  I think Dude feels comfortable with Choo in the pool, like they finally have common ground.  I just love watching Choo's face light up when Dude comes in the backyard to go swimming with him.  Of course, Bear and I are chopped liver, but we are so okay with that. ;)

Gotta go- the house is eerily quiet.  What can they be up to now?????

Are you giving me the finger, son?

First of all, I guess I need to apologize for not blogging.  First the computer was broken.  Then I hadn't blogged in so long, I forgot my password.  Geez.  I think these kids are making me flake out ;)

As for the title, it is not what you think.  We also refer to it as 'pointing with a purpose'.  Choo will get that index finger going specifically to what he wants.  But, now, he is giving us two step commands.  He will point to food, then to the plate.  So, sometimes now I will incorporate a finger point along with the words.  I want you to come here.  When he feels like ignoring me, he giggles.  Let me tell you, that does wonders for my parental self esteem.

I have to brag on my little man.  It seems something has clicked with regards to cognition.  He grabbed me recently to go into his room, because one of the lamps on his dresser would not turn on.  I thought that maybe the bulb had burned out, then I saw the light bulbs on the dresser.  I got the 'finger' pointing to the bulb and then pointing to the lamp.  WOW.  I changed the bulb and light still didn't work.  I switched the bulb with the other lamp and still no progress.  So I told him that the lamp was broken.  I searched and got him another lamp to put in his room.  I had absolutely no intention of taking the broken lamp out of the room, as he seemed very upset that it wouldn't work.  While talking to myself (yes, I do that a lot), I said, "I'm going to have to throw that away."  I got escorted out once he was happy with the new lamp.

No less than two minutes after I left his room, he comes into the den with the broken lamp and hands it to me.  I promptly put it in the garage to deal with later.  Apparently, that was not good enough.  He brought me over to the large black bags and pointed to the lamp and then to the bag.  He wanted me to throw it away.  Well, of course I did what I was told to do!!  I am amazed when these clear moments of cognition seem to come out of nowhere!!

Funnies for a Monday...

I need a little humor this Monday, as I am not feeling great.  I think I overdid it this weekend with packing and such, because my back is killing me!!  Add in the allergies and yeah, not a good day.  I thought it would help to share some funny stories today.

Over the Easter weekend, when the whole family went house hunting, I was concerned about how Choo would behave in other people's houses.  He was really well behaved, but a tad confused.  He would often peruse the contents of people's DVD collections and try to turn on their TV sets.  On a side note, I was shocked by some of the titles people had on public display!  Really, you are trying to sell your house probably to a family, not a fraternity.  So, we decided that Choo would stay in the air conditioned car.  We would look at houses in shifts.  Dude and I would go first, then he would relieve Bear, who would end up in the house with me.  I'm a control freak, so I never left.  This worked well, but was a little more time consuming.  We come from an area that is FLAT.  Hills around here are known as 'interstate on-ramps'.  I think you get the picture.  So, imagine our surprise when we show up at a house on a hill.  Way up on a hill.  The driveway was so steep, that instead of running perpendicular to the road, it ran horizontal.  You started at the lower right hand side of the house and ended up atop the hill on the house's left hand side.  There was a rather sharp turn and a cement pad.  At the edge of the cement pad was- nothing but a sharp drop off.  Did I mention the pad wasn't very big?  Did I mention Bear drives a big-ole SUV?  If you know us, you might see where this is going.  Yep, we couldn't get out.  Matters were made worse when Bear puts the car in park and says, "You drive."  Just in time for the homeowners to come see why we are still there. (They had been in the backyard the whole time).  I somehow mange to move the SUV a complete 180.  We are still parallel to the steep driveway.  Then the elderly gentleman who owns the house stands BEHIND me and tries to help me out.  His wife is standing next to him covering and uncovering her eyes.  This isn't really helping me at this point!!  Bear is concerned that I will accidentally gun the engine and take the old man out.  Dude keeps acting like we are going to die.  The only calm one was Choo, go figure!  Then my real estate agent decides that he will take over directing me.  I ended up having to make the sharp turn at a horrible angle, so the tires were squealing.  Yeah, that almost gave the old lady a heart attack!  When we finally made it down, Bear writes a huge NO across my notes on the house.  No one can remember anything about the house.  

There is a reason homeowners should not be home when perspective buyers come over.  I knew this one house was going to be a problem when Dude and I start to open a door off the kitchen area.  The male owner tells us there is nothing there but the laundry room.  Okay, but if I might buy your house, I would like to see the laundry room.  The wife was standing in the kitchen, following our every move.  Dude and I decide to head upstairs.  She begins to follow us.  Dude gives me 'the face' and tells me he is going to get Bear (with a mischievous grin on his face.)  While in the master bathroom, wifey plops herself on the side of the tub with the unfortunately looking dog, Cha Cha, and begins to ask my opinion of her renovation. Um, no.  At this point, her husband is on a phone call, so we only have to deal with her (& Cha Cha).  She follows us outside, back inside, and around the house.  I'm about to lose it, so the real estate agent and I high tail it out of the house.  Bear is lagging behind.  Around this time, the husband gets off the phone and begins to ask Bear questions.  I know I should have gone inside to 'save' him, but that was the 17th or so house and I figured he could take care of himself.  It was kind of funny when he comes out and says, "Thanks for leaving me."  Ha, Ha.  Oh, I forgot to mention the boxing dummy in a spare room, the broken exercise equipment barring one entrance into the family room, and the renaissance era pseudo porn hanging on the wall.  Interesting house to say the least.

This one isn't a funny story. Bear and I went back to take a second look at a couple of houses that evening, but we decided that Choo and Dude could stay by themselves at the hotel.  We had two rooms- Choo and I in one, Bear & Dude in the other.  Dude says that he and Choo will stay in Choo's room.  We leave Bear's cell phone in case of emergency. While we are out, Choo runs out of drink and Dude remembers that there is more in his room.  He grabs two keys and proceeds to go get the drink.  All is fine until he realizes he can't get back in Choo's room.  He knocks and tells Choo to let him in, but all he can hear is Choo laughing.  He does the uber mature thing and goes down to the front desk, explains that he needs another key made for Choo's room, provides all information to prove he does indeed belong in that room and calmly goes back upstairs to care for his brother.  He didn't even tell us about it until later.  He said he was only gone for about 2 minutes and it was all good.  Wow.  Good stuff.

Guess I've got to get to washing some clothes.  Hope I've brightened your Monday just a tad!!

I've got minions!!

Dang, we just posted recently that we are moving and my personal page has gotten at least three requests for people to come help, plus family members want to come in from the far reaches of the country to help.  Wow.  Unfortunately, no one has offered to come help us pack. :(

I guess it seems I have more friends where I am going than where I am.  Dude keeps questioning me as to what his new school mascot will be and I keep forgetting to look it up.  Here's an update on some recent drama:

ARE YOUR PARENTS LOOKING AT THIS????

Dude has a Facebook account.  He signs in with my husband's email address and a password.  He doesn't use it much, because he doesn't see 'what the big deal is'.  And that is just fine with me.  Bear checks on Dude's home page a lot and gets email messages for every message that is posted to Dude's wall.  Recently, a boy in his class posted who he was inviting to his party.  Then the fun happened.  It became an all out Facebook fight, with these 12 year olds using the most profane language.  Bear got so aggravated that he added this comment to the mix:  This is Dude's Dad.  Stop. It. Now.

But the fun wasn't over.  In a totally non-Dudelike move, Dude informs us that he needs to go to C's house to work on a joint English project that is not due until mid May.  Two of the main "fighters"  (Both will be known as J) were having birthday parties this weekend, so it seemed like Dude wanted to avoid them.  Then we check out Dude's newsfeed.   J1 writes, "I thought you didn't want Dude to come to your party."  J2 responds, " I changed my mind."

I am a protective momma (stepmomma to Dude) and these kids better learn some internet etiquette before I help Karma along...

BTW, he's going to be a Bronco.

Just breathe...

First of all, the story of the father who sent a tape recorder to school and caught the teachers not being "kind" (to say the least) has engulfed our family as well.  It about broke my heart when Dude mentioned it on the way home the other day.  He was so concerned that Choo's current teachers aren't treating him right, that Dude was almost crying.  A fact that he will deny to his dying day, in the name of cool.  Yet again, our decision to move our family has been reinforced.  

There is so much that needs to be done before we go.  Bear has been a sweetheart and is suggesting that we sell almost all of our furniture and buy all new stuff when we get there.  Of course, that is just one more thing to do.  If I look at it in total, I think I may lose my mind.  I am trying to break everything down into small tasks that I can complete and give myself a sense of accomplishment.

Part of me can't wait for school to be out, part of me wants them to go to school year round!  I don't think we are going on a summer vacation this year with everything going on.  Which is totally fine with me!!!

Choo and I visited my mother twice this week.  (Lucky woman)  Both times, Choo was such a pleasure to be around.  Guess next week it is back to the cleaning and the errands and the other usual stuff.

Oh yeah, it's the right decision.

Just opened Choo's backpack from Friday.  He is currently on Spring Break.  Yes- he is home for the whole week.  It seems like this kid is NEVER in school.  I already knew this, but it ticked me off all over again to see that Choo did not qualify for ESY (extended school year).  Why did he not qualify?  Well, they make their decisions based on the child's reaction to long breaks, mainly Christmas.  Since Choo did not start school until January, he missed the qualification period and therefore isn't eligible.  This sounds to me like a load of bull.  Can't they see that he went to ESY last year, ask me if I think he needs ESY this year and sign him up for it?  Since he didn't start til this semester, there was no discussion.  Case closed.

They are incredibly inflexible, but think it is okay to give me the shortest notice to keep him home.  Oh yeah, my blood pressure just went up.

What's going on?

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I have been massively unhappy with Choo's school and the backward slide we have been on since we got home.  And I've been avoiding my blog because I have a big mouth.  They wouldn't have to torture me to get State secrets.  Hell, just have a grown up conversation with me and I'm liable to spill my guts to you.

We have been looking for a couple of months to move.  Dude wasn't really happy with the idea at first, but when we took him and Choo looking for houses over Easter weekend, he started to warm up to the idea.  We put an offer out there only to find that the sellers weren't willing to deal.  Then we put an offer on our second house.  We thought they were playing with us by saying they had another offer.  They weren't, so we lost that house.  Unfortunately, that put us back to square 1.  Great.  Bear decided that I should go back by myself and look.  Well, that is what I did this weekend.  I was supposed to come home on Sunday, but there were a few homes I wanted to get in to see.  I'm so glad I stayed!  I was looking at new construction and they just happened to have a house that was being bricked, but you could still pick everything you wanted for the interior.  They are sure they can get it done by July 20, so we will be there for the next school year.  (They may even be able to finish it sooner!!)

While it will be hard to me to say goodbye to my friends here, I know that we are doing what is right for our family.  It was really sad to hear from a friend in D.C. that Louisiana is at least 5 years behind the rest of the country when it comes to services for autistic children.  So, it's out of state we go.  

I gotta go, Choo keeps trying to snag the computer from me.

Foul moods are all I have left

I've been off the grid and now I'm back.  With a vengeance.  I don't know why I'm in such a funky mood.  Maybe the Autism Speaks controversy rears its head about this time avery year?  Maybe I just get tired of Autism Awareness?  This isn't going to be a popular posts (for many reasons), but this is my therapy, so here goes.

A couple of things said to me recently have gotten my panties in a twist.  One statement was from a person who has been a source of good autism related information.  Her son is about 9 years older than mine and she called me out of concern for my Facebook postings.  (The ones on my personal account.)  Somewhere in the course of the conversation she tells me that I still seem angry and that in time I will learn that "it is what it is."  I deeply regret keeping my mouth shut, but I can't afford to lose ANYONE in the position to help me navigate the waters of finding services for my son.  What I WOULD have said, had I not let cowardice control my voice, was 'WHAT THE HELL?  I will not sit back and say this is all there is, AND ALL THERE WILL EVER BE.'  I don't believe that.  I know it not to be true.  I've seen my son change in the most productive ways.  I've also seen what the 'helpful' (read with sarcasm) school has been able to undo.  Temple Grandin may say that she is okay with being autistic.  That is wonderful, for her.  My 7 year old son was just potty trained last year.  He can't ride a bike, even with training wheels.  He has food sensitivities to: gluten, casein, soy, peanut, mustard, eggs, chicken, malt and asparagus.  He has never eaten a hamburger.  He has never said Mommy.  He speaks only a few words: okay, Daddy, no and panda. At least those are the clearest.  He has fallen back into the bad habit of stimming.  I could go on, but I would need a stiff drink to get through the rest of the afternoon.  I cannot sit back and say this is what I want his life to be like 10- 15 years down the road.  I do not want to think about his older brother having to care for him for the rest of his life.  I want him to be able to function in society.  Whether it is as a high functioning autistic person, or as a non autistic person, I will not rest until I get results. Or I will die trying.  But in the end, I will know that I have done everything possible.

Of course that comment goes hand in hand with those who don't understand what we've done this past year and it grabs me somewhere in the gut that I was not able to continue as I had hoped. You see, Choo and I spent 2011 in another state to pursue therapy.  Poor Dude had been so neglected by me in my absence that I have been trying to repair our relationship, coupled with the fact that I haven't lived with Bear for about a year.  Hard transition.  And still hard.  Because the realization hit me from an acquaintance in D.C., that my state lags about 5 years behind in autism services.  Choo doesn't have 5 years.  (Taking a break to breathe....)  I've got the best chance to make a change while he is still young.  I want to be able to have dinner out at a restaurant as a family.  I would like for the whole family to cheer Dude on at sporting events.  Hell, I'd love for Choo to show an interest in sports, or art, or SOMETHING!!!

Okay, now that I have wound myself up, I need to eat and some housework done before the kiddos come home from school and my tutoring session starts with Dude.

The inaugural post

I'm going to start by just diving in.  Today, I have Choo home with me and Bear because they are holding Special Olympics.  Why isn't he participating?  He is not old enough.  You must be 8 to play.  However, for the past two years (at two different schools) he went to the track and field events and they had a special section for prekindergarten and kindergarten.  Not this year?  He could have gone and sat around all day.  Yes, I'm laughing right now.  That would have been horrible for him and whoever was watching him.  But, don't worry, he won't be marked as absent.  Seriously, I wonder how many 'free' days they are going to give my child.  He was off last Friday because all three of his teachers were going to be out.  I was told a substitute would be there.  A sub was there, but not for HIS class.  Seems all of the special ed teachers were out.  So, Choo had to go to another classroom with students and a para he didn't know.  I got a call at 8:40 (he had been there since 8:10) to come pick him up because they "didn't know what to do with him"; "he is very upset".  Crap.  It would have been better if I had been told about this earlier in the week, but they informed me at 3:00pm on Thursday afternoon. (They had just realized that all three of them would be out- really?) Information should have been more forthcoming, but this is not a surprise.  I wanted him to go to school because he was going to be off on Monday due to 'staff development & parent/teacher conferences'.   Do you have any idea what this is doing to our routine?  Tomorrow and Friday will be hell getting him ready for school, and then TWO MORE FREAKING DAYS OFF, aka 'the weekend'.

Maybe I can entice him into the pool...